The Stream of Conciousness

There's a voice
......talking......whispering

What wants,
What should,
What needs,
What must.

What?

Can't hear you.

Speak Louder!!!

Wait...
Not so loud.

Hurting
Soothing
Nothing

Do you trust me?
I am you.

There is confusion in the voice,
Cognitive Dissonance.
I'm glad there is a name for it,
It is safer that way.

The rhythm of my mind,
THUMP THUMP THUMPS,
With the rhythm of my heart.

Storms.
Make waves,
Cause pain and destruction,
The hurricane of my thoughts.

Peace.
Slow trickles,
Stones smooth and glistening,
My stream of conciousness.

A Sentence for Contemplating

Bridges are safer than rope swings.

Too Long

I haven't posted in a while, I apologize for that. Frankly, I've been really busy and haven't had the chance to really think. So, I don't have anything to post about, no real deep insights. I just need a break, away from everything so I can just think. Mostly, I need to be away from my family. It seems like whenever I try to think they pop up and I'm filled with so much anger I'm forced to stop thinking in the interest of controling my rage.
I recently turned 18. Its a big step, I'm finally an adult and of course, will be voting in the up-coming presidential election. My parents seem to welcome my desire to get involved in voting and knowing and understanding more about the economic system and politics. But with everything else they don't seem to be able to grasp the fact that I am in fact, a grown up, aside from the fact that I still have to finish my senior year of high school and until I graduate will be living at home. It angers me to the core because I so want to be responsible and my own person but there is no way for me to do that. This is the reason I can't think, and the reason I have nothing to post about. I apologize again for my absense, I will do my best to come up with something in the near future. Til then, pity me.

Mood: Perplexed

Writing is very effective for me. I find whenever I sit down to write about something that is confusing me or bothering me, it just disappears.

Good for me. Not so interesting for you.

Stating the Obvious

One of my favorite books is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Mostly because its funny, and, most of the time, entirely right about everything. One quote from the book stuck out to me a great deal, Ford is an alien that has been on earth for some time and this is what he noticed about mankind:

"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?"

Scratching My Head..

So, I was recently watching Corner Gas (a canadian comedy, if you weren't aware) and it was an eposoide where all the characters try to get this other charactor to shut up by telling him to just put it in a blog and they will read it later. So this character is going along thinking that everyone loves his blog cause they want to read it all the time instead of listening to him talk. Of course, no one actually reads it, and he finally catches on and makes everyone feel guilty about not reading his blog. So another character trys to trick him into believing that everyone is reading his blog by creating cheat sheets of everything he says in the blog. Ironicly, that character puts the cheat sheets on a blog as well, and no one reads that either.

So I was thinking, does anyone really read this?

What If... (One of These Days)

It's my fault?
I'm sorry....

But-
What if it's yours?
What if I'm trying to help you see?
What if you're wrong?
What if you're hurting me so you don't have to hurt yourself?

Maybe-
One of these days,
You will notice you're wrong.
One of these days,
You will see your faults.
One of these days,
You'll know I'm right.
One of these days,
You won't have to hurt me anymore.

But-
What if it's my fault?
What if I just can't see?
What if you're right?
What if I'm just hurting myself?

Maybe-
One of these days,
I'll be good enough for you.
One of these days,
I'll see what you really need.
One of these days,
I'll make you happy.
One of these days,
I won't have to hurt myself.

Time to Stretch Our Wings

I have again been trying to think of something to write my next blog about. I often get really irritated with this- so bare with me.

I've become increasingly angry with the way society treats young people. From children to college-aged. I dunno if old people has something against us, but this is getting ridiculous. Who are you to say that a teenager can't fall in love??? If you ask me, teenagers are the most capable of love. If a teen can feel enough pain to go shoot up their school then I'm pretty sure they can feel something as beautiful as love. And what's the deal with stifling creativity? Why must you supress us with gross amounts of homework? How about you do your job and teach us in school so that we can enjoy our lives while we are still young!!! Sometimes I wonder if you are afraid of me...

I suppose I should stop there before I say something that will get me in trouble. I'd just like to say this is YOUR fault. YOU created us to be this way.

There Isn't An Answer.

What is this world really about?
For a long time now I've been trying to figure out what I wanted my next post to be about. Nothing of any real importance came to mind. So I guess I'm wondering, what the heck is really important? Why are we here? What are we? And why do we need an answer to that question? Everyone asks that. Everyone wonders. You aren't deep or anything just because you want to dig deeper. Human beings have been built with a need to solve lifes mysteries. So why the hell does it matter if we ever find the anwer? Because we never will. No answer is sificiant.

Ignorance

While ignorance might be bliss, it is the sole fault of every single human being on this planet. Why is mankind so stupid, oblivious, and they don't even care???? All anyone cares about is what is right in front of them, in their tiny little box they call reality. Then they label their box whatever they want, like "loves innocence." or "open-minded". PAH-LEASE! Since when has "open-minded" gotten so... closed. Even the most open-minded people refuse to accept someone who might be a little bit different. My BROTHER is different. And I don't think I've ever seen anyone really accept him. Sure, people pity him, people pretend to be nice to him. The irony of it is that people like him are the most accepting, the most caring, they are the people that really GET it. They GET what is really important. What do we know?Ignorance: lack of knowledge, education, or awareness.Mankind is ignorant. Whether we want to be or not. It was ignorance that brought Eve to eat the apple, ignorance that convinced Adam to as well. And it has always been ignorance. We are completely ignorant when it comes to God. We lack the knowledge, the education, AND the awareness of God. Christians walk around all the time saying how they "know God." Really, they are the most ignorant of all. Can anyone really "know" God? Sure you can have a relationship with him. But no one can know or understand God. And who are Christians to be walking around like they are better than everyone else because they supposedly "know" God. But, the even sadder thing is that we aren't even aware of God. Christians can't even see God in the littlest things, how are we supposed to show God to everyone else? Ask me whats wrong with this world...Ignorance.